My appointment with the psychiatrist was yesterday morning. We covered an awful lot in an hour, but ultimately she decided not to prescribe me anything. Yet. She wants to meet again next week to discuss the anxiety more in depth. At first, I was pretty disappointed. I was hoping to at least get *something* out of it. I called my therapist and told her as much. She suggested I keep a log of when my brain goes from zero to worst case scenario in a nanosecond. I came up with 4 examples in less than 10 minutes. Most of my anxiety centers around my health. Feel something pop in my neck? I’m going to have a stroke. Headache? Clearly it’s a brain tumor. I wish I could say those were extreme examples, but they aren’t. My therapist said I come across as very competent and professional and it’s hard to see the real pain underneath. I’ve gotten so used to looking like a normal functioning human being, the real issues aren’t obvious any more. I think if I come in with a list of concrete examples of my anxiety, that will help illustrate the point for her. No happy pills yet, but perhaps soon.
The game of managerial musical chairs has begun at work. They’ve announced 3 of the changes with more forthcoming. In my former work area, a position opened up that I’m going to go for. The current hierarchy is J who reports to D who reports to K. D is moving to a different department freeing up his position. I asked K flat out if it was worth me applying for that position since the obvious play would be promoting J to D’s position. He said he wasn’t sold on any particular candidate and if I was interested, he’d let me know when it’s posted. He wants people who are interested and want the job, not just people who are the logical candidates based on their current position. I asked my boss for his opinion and he agreed that I should go for it. He said, as a manager, even if I wasn’t perfectly qualified for this position, if I impressed him in the interview, he’d keep me in mind for future openings. It also shows that I’m ambitious and looking to advance. It would be a pretty significant promotion, but I think I could handle it. I’ve got all the basic qualifications and I’m familiar with all parts of the area. I’ve also recently been told by several different people that I have a gift for herding cats and they could see me going on to bigger and better things. Herding cats is pretty much the job description from how I understand it. I know I’m smart and capable. I’m a fast learner. If nothing else, it’ll show them I’m interested in moving up in the world and I’ll get some interview practice. Watch what happens.