The wedding was exactly what I needed. It was the first time this side of the family has been together in its entirety in 9 years. Hilarity typically ensues. When you throw in the groom’s side of the family, especially his pretentious ass of a father, things get even better. Even if I got done out of Busch Gardens on Sunday, it was still worth the price of admission. Some of the high points were:
*The power went out during the wedding itself. The priest tried to redeem it saying God must approve of the union. Not exactly, padre.
*The best man (the groom’s older brother) and the father of the bride (my uncle) both getting in jabs at the father of the groom during their toasts.
*Three of my cousins getting into a car after the rehearsal dinner and none of them getting in the driver’s seat. A bit of a metaphor for the weekend really. We were all in the car, but no one was in the driver’s seat.
*The father of the groom continually bringing up that they lived abroad, the groom’s grandmother was a senator (state senator from WV. *big* life accomplishment), and acting like the rehearsal dinner was a wake instead of a party. My sister and I made a drinking game out of it. That’s the extreme they took it to.
*Getting to see my 16 year old cousin and my sister drunk at the after party. They’re both very loving drunks. My cousin kept telling me how much he loved me and hugging me. Hilarity.
*Seeing my mom and my uncle get out and dance uncoerced. And we have it on video. I have literally never seen my mom dance in public in my entire life.
*Watching the 4 brothers of the groom put some serious damage in the open bar. Those kids can *drink*. Guess it runs in the family.
*The slide show during the rehearsal dinner wouldn’t work properly. Instead of giving up after the third try, the groom’s parents kept poking at it until it started working on the 8th try. And it was 80% pictures of the groom and they screwed up several places where my cousin lived in the few shots they had of her.
*Speaking of shots, quote of the after party- “I went to the bar to get a beer and I ended up doing a shot of tequila”.
We’ll be talking about this wedding for years to come and very little about the actual ceremony. The kids on the groom’s side made a point to differentiate themselves from their parents’ generation. Apparently we weren’t the only ones who noticed they’re self important asses. Though they would know better than we would, wouldn’t they? I feel a bit bad for my cousin because she’s stuck with them, but hopefully they’ll move far enough away that it won’t be an issue. Her husband apparently hates being the center of attention and if he’d had his way, the rehearsal dinner would’ve been at a pub in Colonial Williamsburg, not this big to do that his dad insisted on.
And the memoir continues to write itself…