Of being careful what you wish for and getting it

My uncle the neurosurgeon came back with his assessment of my chart. He said that I was getting excellent care, they were doing everything right, and he was happy with what he saw. He said I should definitely go through with the video study and I’m not a good candidate for surgery given what he saw (and he’s seen many, many brains). He felt that my problems could be controlled by medication, it’s just finding the right one. He also said I shouldn’t be driving. That definitely hampers me a bit. Under GA law, if you have a seizure where you lose consciousness (which I disagree with that assessment, but my opinion doesn’t matter), you can’t drive for 6 months. I’ve never had a seizure while driving, but I know I’d never forgive myself if I hurt or killed someone else not to mention the damage I would do to myself. They could also throw me in jail for it. In a roundabout way, I got what I asked for. I can’t count the number of times I complained about traffic, how long I spend in the car, etc. The universe was like “Oh, okay, we can fix that!”. Lesson learned, universe, lesson learned. My boss was very helpful when I told him about it. He said he would circulate the word that I need a ride for the next few months. I really appreciated that. He’s definitely made the whole ordeal a bit easier. One of my coworkers said he could help me out for the next few months until his wife is off maternity leave. I figure I’ll give it a few days, see if anyone else pops up, and go from there.

The hospital can also take me for the video study on Monday. I was originally scheduled for October 10. I figure the faster I can get this all over with, the better. We’ll turn on the TV, wait an hour, and I’ll start to twitch. They’ll probably also want to capture anything I have in my sleep. Since I’ll be off my meds, I estimate I won’t be in there much longer than 48 hours. The quicker, the better. I’m ready to have this over and done with. My uncle said the video study would be very informative in that it will tell them what kind of seizures I’m having, where they originate, and give them a better idea of what medication I should be on since I’m not a good candidate for surgery. I’m okay with not being a good candidate for surgery.

In better news, I have an interview with the head of the division tomorrow. They posted a few jobs as part of the managerial musical chairs going on. I was under the impression these positions had already been filled, but apparently not. HR called me this morning and scheduled an interview for tomorrow. I’m really excited. At least I get a shot to sit down with her and get some interview practice. I’m not terribly emotionally invested in getting the position, though the increased responsibility (and raise) wouldn’t go unappreciated. I figure if the universe can dish out crap, it can also give me some good stuff. Considering the rest of this year, it would be nice to get a raise, a promotion, and a few good things out of the deal.

Tonight Boy is taking me out to dinner for our 3 year anniversary. On the one hand, it’s hard to believe it’s already been 3 years. On the other hand, it feels like we’ve known each other forever. He’s taking me to one of my favorite restaurants and I’m really looking forward to that. It’ll be a nice end to the day.


Of drinking games and til death do us part

The wedding was exactly what I needed. It was the first time this side of the family has been together in its entirety in 9 years. Hilarity typically ensues. When you throw in the groom’s side of the family, especially his pretentious ass of a father, things get even better. Even if I got done out of Busch Gardens on Sunday, it was still worth the price of admission. Some of the high points were:

*The power went out during the wedding itself. The priest tried to redeem it saying God must approve of the union. Not exactly, padre.

*The best man (the groom’s older brother) and the father of the bride (my uncle) both getting in jabs at the father of the groom during their toasts.

*Three of my cousins getting into a car after the rehearsal dinner and none of them getting in the driver’s seat. A bit of a metaphor for the weekend really. We were all in the car, but no one was in the driver’s seat.

*The father of the groom continually bringing up that they lived abroad, the groom’s grandmother was a senator (state senator from WV. *big* life accomplishment), and acting like the rehearsal dinner was a wake instead of a party. My sister and I made a drinking game out of it. That’s the extreme they took it to.

*Getting to see my 16 year old cousin and my sister drunk at the after party. They’re both very loving drunks. My cousin kept telling me how much he loved me and hugging me. Hilarity.

*Seeing my mom and my uncle get out and dance uncoerced. And we have it on video. I have literally never seen my mom dance in public in my entire life.

*Watching the 4 brothers of the groom put some serious damage in the open bar. Those kids can *drink*. Guess it runs in the family.

*The slide show during the rehearsal dinner wouldn’t work properly. Instead of giving up after the third try, the groom’s parents kept poking at it until it started working on the 8th try. And it was 80% pictures of the groom and they screwed up several places where my cousin lived in the few shots they had of her.

*Speaking of shots, quote of the after party- “I went to the bar to get a beer and I ended up doing a shot of tequila”.

We’ll be talking about this wedding for years to come and very little about the actual ceremony. The kids on the groom’s side made a point to differentiate themselves from their parents’ generation. Apparently we weren’t the only ones who noticed they’re self important asses. Though they would know better than we would, wouldn’t they? I feel a bit bad for my cousin because she’s stuck with them, but hopefully they’ll move far enough away that it won’t be an issue. Her husband apparently hates being the center of attention and if he’d had his way, the rehearsal dinner would’ve been at a pub in Colonial Williamsburg, not this big to do that his dad insisted on.

And the memoir continues to write itself…


Of silly brains and getting out of Dodge

Started the Lamictal this morning and I’ve already got myself paranoid about the rash. According to the patient information, it’s fairly uncommon in adults and if it appears, it appears in the first 2-8 weeks. Of course now I’m hyper aware and every time something itches, it gets me worried. It sucks to feel like your brain is making you crazy. Firstly, it sounds like the odds of me having this reaction are fairly low. Secondly, I don’t think 6.5 hours is enough time for anything adverse to happen anyway. I know the hyper awareness is normal, but that doesn’t make it suck any less. Stupid brain. I got the video study scheduled. I’ll be going in on October 10. If I have to stay 3 or 4 days, at least some of those days would be days I had off anyway.

I suppose this is another case of where my stubbornness can serve me. Even if I do feel like hiding under the covers all day, I don’t let myself go there. I may take a lot of breaks or take longer to do things, but I still get out of bed, put on clothes and make up, and make myself show up. Just putting in the effort goes a long way. In 48 hours, I’ll be on a plane to the wedding. The grown ups are leaving today, so the kittens and I have the house to ourselves for a few nights. I know getting out of town for a few days will help.

On a more positive note, I had a very productive conversation with my boss yesterday. I know he’s a straight shooter and we talked about everything from how the company operates to what he sees for me. He knows I’ve got talent and potential, it’s a matter of teaching me things that I’ll need to know in order to move up. It may not be the most interesting stuff in the world, but it’s stuff I need to know if I want to go anywhere. That’s fair. If I know these things up front, then I can take it a lot better. Don’t most people? I came away feeling like I understand everything a bit better and I know that it’s not just people getting tapped for certain positions. Amazing what you learn when you actually ask things.

XOXO, readers!

Of medication changes and the naps that come with them

I saw the epilepsy specialist yesterday morning and she wants to change my medication. She’s going to switch me to Lamictal and step me off the Keppra once I’m on the full dose of the Lamictal. She said the major risk was a rash that might appear within the first 2 weeks. If I see that, I need to stop the meds and call them. She didn’t act like it was life threatening, though, just that it’s harder to get rid of the longer I keep taking the meds. As if my paranoid brain needed anything more to obsess over. I’ll start the Lamictal tomorrow and slowly step up to the full dose over the course of 4-5 weeks. The good part is Lamictal also has mood stabilizing effects. So I cancelled the appointment with the psychiatrist this morning and we’ll see how the Lamictal does me. If it fixes the anxiety, then we’re golden. The doctor seemed confident that this one would help me more. Since I’m a woman of childbearing age, they’re erring on the side of caution if I accidentally get pregnant. Apparently the Lamictal is the second safest option as anti-seizure meds go. She also wants me to start taking folic acid supplements just in case. No babies, please and thank you. Hopefully I won’t be less than useless while I’m adjusting to the new meds, but I see more than my share of naps in the coming weeks. I’ll also have to refill the Keppra before my trip this weekend.

I keep thinking it’s Wednesday and getting disappointed when I remember it’s only Tuesday. I have to pack tonight because my parents are driving up tomorrow and they can take most of my stuff with them. All I really need to bring with me is a change of shoes for the rehearsal dinner on Friday night. It’ll just be the kittens and me Wednesday and Thursday night. I’ll go into work for a few hours Friday morning and then it’s off to Virginia. I’m really looking forward to getting out of town for a few days. I think it’ll be a nice opportunity to reset.

In other random bits and bobs, no more word on the changes at work. I upgraded to an iPhone 5 over the weekend and I’ve been learning that. Boy is partially moved into his new apartment and it’s so much nicer. I love it. I’ll be totally done with all the DUI stuff except my fine by the end of August. I’ll probably keep volunteering at the thrift store, though. They’ve got some great deals. At least I’m not as exhausted today.


Of new months and the possibilities that come with them

The epilepsy center got a cancellation and I’m able to get in next Monday morning. It’s not the same doctor, but I was assured this doctor also specializes in epilepsy. I’m glad they were able to take me a lot sooner. I’m really hoping to get more information about what exactly is wrong with my brain. The general neurologist didn’t seem like she knew what she was talking about, so I’m hoping the specialist can explain it to me better. I made it 42 hours without a seizure this time. I *think* I had one in my sleep last night, but I don’t remember for sure. Depending on what the specialist says, I may cancel the appointment with the psychiatrist the next morning. The fewer doctors I have to deal with, the better.

It’s a new month and those always perk me up a bit. I’m a firm believer in the possibilities that come with a new month. I’ll kick it off spending time with Jo and the new baby tonight. I haven’t had time to get over there and give him his new baby gift until now. A lot of my favorite people have birthdays in August including my niece who turns a year old next Friday. I’ll be headed up to Virginia next week for my cousin’s wedding and we’ll hit Busch Gardens (best amusement park ever in my humble opinion). It’ll be the first time that whole side of the family has been together in 9 years. The last time was for my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Boy moves this weekend and I’m really excited for that. I’m also getting my hair done. It’s slowly but surely getting longer. I actually have a tiny ponytail now! It’s the small things in life (if you will…).

I’m currently coveting a $200 skirt from Free People and it’s been a challenge to try and convince myself to wait and see if it goes on sale. Or I get a promotion, a raise, and can treat myself. Until then, time to nap in the car because I’m so. freaking. tired.