They say the integrity is what you do when no one is looking.
I was at the parents’ house yesterday. There was nothing in the house for breakfast. There’s a Waffle House at the end of our neighborhood. It’s maybe a mile and a half away round trip from the house. I thought I could drive there and back with no one ever being the wiser. Then that little tiny voice in the back of my head said “Don’t do it. You’ll end up talking to a cop”. As I may have mentioned, I never got my license replaced after it was stolen in September. My driving restrictions have expired and I could be fully reinstated, I knew if I got my license back, I’d be tempted to drive. I got my DUI in a less than 2 mile trip. I don’t have a reasonable excuse for why I don’t have my license on me. If they looked up my license, they’d see a note that my driving privileges are still restricted. I checked on the DMV website a few days ago on what to do to get my license reinstated and there’s a giant red note saying I’m a restricted driver. So I walked. It was a little chilly, but no big deal. I threw on a sweatshirt, fuzzy boots, and hoofed my way down for a carb and fat laden breakfast. I felt very proud of myself for doing the right thing when no one was watching. And there’s nothing a waffle, some coffee, and scrambled eggs with cheese can’t fix.
It felt good to get out and walk around after a day of mindless eating on Thanksgiving. I made myself get up and do something during commercial breaks like using the foam roller to loosen up my legs, holding splits, and working on balancing my developpe in second (standing on one leg, holding my heel, my leg coming straight out to the side, turned out trying to get it as close to my ear as possible). Yesterday I walked a mile and a half, then went to 2 dance classes. My friend and her husband drove me around and took me to class and lunch. Her husband also brought his new puppy. I’m more of a cat person than a dog person, but I can’t resist a cute little fuzzy face. He sat happily in my lap gnawing at my scarf.
At that point, I was seriously craving a vegetable. It amuses me that too much crap food got to me over the course of a few days. There was a time when that wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. Today is a trip to the grocery store to get something fresh to get me through the rest of the weekend. I also haven’t had my usual love/hate relationship with food. None of my usual unhealthy coping mechanisms have popped up while Boy has been out of town. No shopping, no bingeing and restricting, and no drinking (not that I have a choice on that one, but we’re counting it). Boy is back tomorrow and the normal routine will be restored.
I’m sore as all get out today. Taking the day off to relax, rot my brain on football & cooking competition shows and generally give myself a break. I noticed signs of depression kicking in earlier in the week, so I pulled myself out of the hole. I made an appointment to get my hair cut and colored in 2 weeks. Having my hair looking good is really important to me. It’s been a long time since I got it done. I’m in the process of growing it out and it’s starting to be fairly obvious that it’s growing out strangely. It’s at that awkward stage where it’s hard to put up in a ponytail without a ton of bobby pins keeping it out of my face. Looking forward to going back to my Snow White dark hair and a more even cut.
Time for more tea, tv, and relaxing before my grocery store trip.