Of 2015 & Years in Review

So we still have 13 days left in 2015. What’s less than 2 weeks among friends? And we’re all friends here. I have to say that 2015 was quite the year. I’m not sure what I was expecting out of it, but I certainly got more than I bargained for. Without further ado, a month by month recap.

January:

I turned 30. That’s a big deal. We went to a Monster Truck Rally. We ate steak. I wore a green sequined jumpsuit (which is way classier than it sounds). That’s about all I remember.

Verdict: Win

February:

My relationship with Ben de facto ended. I was diagnosed with the worst depression I’d had without being suicidal since I can remember. I knew it was over well before then, but it still didn’t make it any easier. I began moving out on the 28th.

Verdict: Fail

March:

Our relationship officially ended. I moved back in with my parents. We called it quits on Friday the 13th (this will be relevant later). I was still horribly depressed. My job was still shit. Fortunately, I had friends who were super supportive and more than happy to listen whenever I needed an ear. By the end of the month, I was doing better.

Verdict: Meh

April:

The first of my grandparents died. It was my dad’s mom, so that made it difficult. I would listen to him practice reading her eulogy through the door & I would just cry. He talks loud & his office is right outside my bedroom at their house. I also put myself out there in the form of online dating. That made for some interesting stories.

Verdict: Fail

May:

I went on a few dates that were a total bust. It was a learning experience, though. I also went to a concert by myself for the first time ever. I felt pretty damn good about the latter.

Verdict: Win

June:

I met my husband. My dad celebrated his 60th birthday. Given there was a time we weren’t sure he’d see 59, this was huge for all of us.

Verdict: Super Win

July:

I said yes in front of my closest friends & my dad. We shot zombies. We went on a honeymoon / post-engagement vacation. The second of my grandparents died (mom’s dad). He was kind of a horrible person, so I wasn’t that sorry to see him go. However, he was still family & that matters. That brings it down from a super win.

Verdict: Win

August:

Jordan (aka World’s Biggest Asshole Boss Ever) wrote me up the first time. I moved in with Mark. My hatred of Jordan outweighs moving in with my husband.

Verdict: Fail

September:

Ummm, it was a month?

Verdict: Meh

October:

The High Holy Month. We introduced Mark to Halloween. He loved it. I participated for the first time in years. It was awesome. What’s not to love?

Verdict: Win

November:

I got married. I quit my horrible job.Mark’s mom was here for most of the month, but it could have been worse. We got along fairly well given it was our first time meeting in person. Apparently Skype doesn’t count.

Ben & I broke up on Friday, March 13. Mark & I got married Friday, November 13. Thus, the circle closes. Best month of 2015, hands down. This will probably be one of the best months of my life.

Verdict: Super Win

December:

We kicked off December (literally December 1) in the hospital. Mark got a kidney stone. I don’t think I’ve heard a human being make that much noise in my entire life. My dad’s dad also died. For those keeping score at home, three of my four grandparents died this year. The last one standing is my mom’s mother. She’ll probably outlive us all.

I’ve been away from my job for a month & I honestly feel like a different person. It’s wonderful. Mark & I will celebrate the first of many Christmases together. Our groups of friends have blended together with no problems. This is what it was meant to be.

Verdict (so far): Meh (kidney stone)

What I’ve learned:

Romantic relationships don’t have to be emotionally, verbally, or physically abusive to be toxic. There’s a big difference between compromise and giving up something you want completely. Ben’s a good person & I really hope he got what he wanted. I haven’t spoken to him or even heard anything about him since April when he brought the last of my stuff. We just weren’t right for each other. That’s okay. We stopped loving each other a long time before we broke up. Even though we lived together, I never felt like I was at home. It always felt like his space. I felt more at home when we would go back to my parents’ house. I’m sure he’ll make some nice Jewish girl very happy someday.

On the flip side, professional (for lack of a better term) are more than capable of being emotionally abusive. There were several times I had people from other departments approach me and ask if Jordan always talked down to me. The answer was always yes. There was nothing I could do, though. It was my word against his and he outranked me. He was also male. The head of the department was a woman, but she had very little tolerance for other women. I really shouldn’t be surprised, though. The company was founded by a backwoods former high school football coach. While his slogan is “I’ll never forgive [insurance company] for what they did to my mama”, he sure as shit didn’t instill a respect for women among his followers. Way to be, Art. Way to be. My goal, sad as it is, is to avoid that in my new career path. Let’s just respect each other on our merits & ignore what’s between our legs. Cool?

I know 2016 holds a host of new experiences. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to start over. I can’t wait to finally pursue something I’ve wanted to pursue since I can remember. I’ve wanted to be in the medical field since I was in third grade for crying out loud. I had started the path to go to nursing school when Primerica offered me the job. It’s not in the branch I originally intended (medical doctor), but it’s medicine related. I took a detour (or 12) along the way, but I’ll get there. It’s only too late to change careers when you’re dead.

I hope everyone has had a productive, happy, & successful year. Here’s to an even more productive, happier, & successful 2016!

XOXO!

 

 

One thought on “Of 2015 & Years in Review

  1. I used to read your diaries back in the day on DNN, I was randomly thinking about you the other day and found your blog in one of your old posts… congratulations on getting married!!!

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