Of 2015 & Years in Review

So we still have 13 days left in 2015. What’s less than 2 weeks among friends? And we’re all friends here. I have to say that 2015 was quite the year. I’m not sure what I was expecting out of it, but I certainly got more than I bargained for. Without further ado, a month by month recap.

January:

I turned 30. That’s a big deal. We went to a Monster Truck Rally. We ate steak. I wore a green sequined jumpsuit (which is way classier than it sounds). That’s about all I remember.

Verdict: Win

February:

My relationship with Ben de facto ended. I was diagnosed with the worst depression I’d had without being suicidal since I can remember. I knew it was over well before then, but it still didn’t make it any easier. I began moving out on the 28th.

Verdict: Fail

March:

Our relationship officially ended. I moved back in with my parents. We called it quits on Friday the 13th (this will be relevant later). I was still horribly depressed. My job was still shit. Fortunately, I had friends who were super supportive and more than happy to listen whenever I needed an ear. By the end of the month, I was doing better.

Verdict: Meh

April:

The first of my grandparents died. It was my dad’s mom, so that made it difficult. I would listen to him practice reading her eulogy through the door & I would just cry. He talks loud & his office is right outside my bedroom at their house. I also put myself out there in the form of online dating. That made for some interesting stories.

Verdict: Fail

May:

I went on a few dates that were a total bust. It was a learning experience, though. I also went to a concert by myself for the first time ever. I felt pretty damn good about the latter.

Verdict: Win

June:

I met my husband. My dad celebrated his 60th birthday. Given there was a time we weren’t sure he’d see 59, this was huge for all of us.

Verdict: Super Win

July:

I said yes in front of my closest friends & my dad. We shot zombies. We went on a honeymoon / post-engagement vacation. The second of my grandparents died (mom’s dad). He was kind of a horrible person, so I wasn’t that sorry to see him go. However, he was still family & that matters. That brings it down from a super win.

Verdict: Win

August:

Jordan (aka World’s Biggest Asshole Boss Ever) wrote me up the first time. I moved in with Mark. My hatred of Jordan outweighs moving in with my husband.

Verdict: Fail

September:

Ummm, it was a month?

Verdict: Meh

October:

The High Holy Month. We introduced Mark to Halloween. He loved it. I participated for the first time in years. It was awesome. What’s not to love?

Verdict: Win

November:

I got married. I quit my horrible job.Mark’s mom was here for most of the month, but it could have been worse. We got along fairly well given it was our first time meeting in person. Apparently Skype doesn’t count.

Ben & I broke up on Friday, March 13. Mark & I got married Friday, November 13. Thus, the circle closes. Best month of 2015, hands down. This will probably be one of the best months of my life.

Verdict: Super Win

December:

We kicked off December (literally December 1) in the hospital. Mark got a kidney stone. I don’t think I’ve heard a human being make that much noise in my entire life. My dad’s dad also died. For those keeping score at home, three of my four grandparents died this year. The last one standing is my mom’s mother. She’ll probably outlive us all.

I’ve been away from my job for a month & I honestly feel like a different person. It’s wonderful. Mark & I will celebrate the first of many Christmases together. Our groups of friends have blended together with no problems. This is what it was meant to be.

Verdict (so far): Meh (kidney stone)

What I’ve learned:

Romantic relationships don’t have to be emotionally, verbally, or physically abusive to be toxic. There’s a big difference between compromise and giving up something you want completely. Ben’s a good person & I really hope he got what he wanted. I haven’t spoken to him or even heard anything about him since April when he brought the last of my stuff. We just weren’t right for each other. That’s okay. We stopped loving each other a long time before we broke up. Even though we lived together, I never felt like I was at home. It always felt like his space. I felt more at home when we would go back to my parents’ house. I’m sure he’ll make some nice Jewish girl very happy someday.

On the flip side, professional (for lack of a better term) are more than capable of being emotionally abusive. There were several times I had people from other departments approach me and ask if Jordan always talked down to me. The answer was always yes. There was nothing I could do, though. It was my word against his and he outranked me. He was also male. The head of the department was a woman, but she had very little tolerance for other women. I really shouldn’t be surprised, though. The company was founded by a backwoods former high school football coach. While his slogan is “I’ll never forgive [insurance company] for what they did to my mama”, he sure as shit didn’t instill a respect for women among his followers. Way to be, Art. Way to be. My goal, sad as it is, is to avoid that in my new career path. Let’s just respect each other on our merits & ignore what’s between our legs. Cool?

I know 2016 holds a host of new experiences. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to start over. I can’t wait to finally pursue something I’ve wanted to pursue since I can remember. I’ve wanted to be in the medical field since I was in third grade for crying out loud. I had started the path to go to nursing school when Primerica offered me the job. It’s not in the branch I originally intended (medical doctor), but it’s medicine related. I took a detour (or 12) along the way, but I’ll get there. It’s only too late to change careers when you’re dead.

I hope everyone has had a productive, happy, & successful year. Here’s to an even more productive, happier, & successful 2016!

XOXO!

 

 

Of concerts and the things we learn

This weekend has been a case of “Let’s hose Emily’s sleep schedule”. I’m okay with that.

Friday night, I went solo to the Butch Walker show. I didn’t try and talk myself out of it at the last minute. I had my hair done, I put together what is definitely one of my favorite outfits now, and hopped in the car just like I would if I were meeting someone there. They’d covered the pit and put seats there, so I ended up being 11 rows back. It was still a really good seat. The show, as with all of his, was amazing. I probably looked like I was having a really shitty time. I was perfectly happy to just sit / stand and take it in. People watching later in the show when the booze started to kick in was equally entertaining. There was a girl about 3 rows in front of me wearing a dress that looked like a lamp shade. She started jumping up and down and all of us behind her got a free show. There were 3 guys in the row in front of me & two were clearly more drunk than the third one. They kept swaying back & forth like drunks do & the third one was giving them the “If you make me spill my beer, I will cut you” look. I didn’t end up getting back until 1a and crawled into bed around 130a. For those keeping score at home, that’s a good 3 hours after when I normally go to sleep, even on a weekend.

He played a bunch of my favorite songs and went easy on the newer stuff. I think someone may have advised him that a lot of the songs sound the same. He ended with the song he wrote for his dad & had everyone crying as we walked out the door. He got me up front with “ATL”, so I was one of the few not pretending to not cry. He got so emotional that he had them kill the stage lights while he was singing.

What did I learn? I’m totally okay with going to something like that by myself. I didn’t need someone standing next to me in order to enjoy the show.

Last night, I went on a last minute date. When I say last minute, I mean I left the house a little before 11p. Again, about an hour past when I normally go to sleep. We’ll call him Not Creepy. After a bit of confusion over where we were meeting, we had a good time. When Taco Mac kicked us out, we moseyed over to Waffle House. Only the best for a first date. We spent a good portion of the time laughing & figuring out we had A LOT of overlap among people we knew. We’re the same age & he went to the public school closest to my high school. He went to Georgia Tech & it turned into “Oh, did you know [person]?” “Yeah I totally knew them!”. For being a major city, Atlanta can be a very small town. I ended up staying out until 3 this morning. It was fun, though. A second date is somewhere in the future. I paid for Waffle House, so he owes me. 😛

What did I learn? First dates don’t have to be awkward. And it’s okay to bring up some things that may not be “first date” topics of conversation.

What did I learn (sidebar)? The recommendation that women should initiate conversation & are more likely to get a reply is total bullshit. Of the few times I’ve started a conversation, I never got a reply. This is only messaging people who also expressed an interest in me. On the flip side, if he opens with a line about my tattoos, then it will devolve very quickly. Not Creepy said he considered it when he first messaged me, but decided against it. Good plan, my man. Good plan.

Today is the bowling event for the MeetUp group. I got an email earlier saying that over 100 people (!!) had signed up. If that’s not a good opportunity to meet people, I don’t know what is. It doesn’t start until 6 & ostensibly goes until 9. I’m going to give myself an hour. If I’m not having fun or falling asleep standing up, then I’ll leave. If I’m having fun, then we’ll see if I end up staying the entire time. I do feel like I need to get my sleep back in line, though. Of course, that’s what Benadryl is for.

What will I learn? Who knows

Another thing that was driven home last night / this morning was that everyone has their burdens. As much as my mom & I don’t get along, she’s been carrying a lot of weight with her. I felt bad for sniping at her over stupid stuff. She drinks because she’d rather do that than cry. I suppose I can relate to that. Except that I was physically incapable of crying. I want to try to remember that when she’s driving me nuts, it’s not personal. She’s got enough worries in there to last all of us a lifetime. Maybe I need to start using my airhorn app for that, too.

On a more superficial note – I got sucked into Urban Decay’s new line. I got one of every new product they have. I normally don’t wear blush, but I think I’ve figured out how to apply with without making myself look like a circus clown. I got a little bit of a darker color than I have currently. I think I like it better, especially when I apply it with my finger rather than a brush. I’m also slowly mastering brow powder. It’s something I didn’t really consider before, but it helps in pictures. I’ve been taking a lot of those lately courtesy of selling myself on various dating sites. 😉 My hair even still looks good from Friday. I’ve found a favorite stylist. Since I’ve got another long weekend next weekend (It’s Memorial Day for those of us in the States), I’ll get myself another blowout. It’s seriously 1000x better than a mani / pedi.

I hope everyone else has had a kickass weekend. If not, you still have a few hours to make up for it. As always, I appreciate you, fair readers.

XOXO!